The Grapevine Art & Soul Salon

The Three Graces from Primavera by Botticelli

Laurie Ann

My name is Laurie Ann. I am a school teacher of 26 years. I strive to teach, love, and nurture the minds and hearts of five year olds. I feel that children should never be afraid to ask a question and should wake up happy to go to school. Never should learning be a chore.

I live an active life filled with anything that keeps me moving. My hobbies are running, hiking, biking, and walking my dog, Shay. Exercising has always been a great therapy for me. In addition, I enjoy cooking for my family and friends. As much as I like to eat out, there's nothing better to me than a home cooked meal. I rarely use a recipe. Coming up with my own combination of ingredients makes cooking exciting for me. It pleases me when others enjoy my food. I never miss an opportunity to travel. It thrills me to meet others and learn about different cultures. My own Christian faith calms me and teaches me to forgive and to love others. I enjoy all genres of music and dance. I practiced ballet, tap and jazz for about 11 years. I can never get enough of laughing. It is a cure-all. The more I can laugh, the better I feel. My two daughters keep me laughing quite a bit. Always looking for a great comedy to watch.

Laurie Ann

Laurie Ann will be appearing regularly here in a column that features thoughts and images that occur to her as she runs, both for health and fitness and for her own psychological well being, what she calls "running for my life."

RUNNING FOR MY LIFE

Have you ever been challenged by someone to write down your feelings? Actually, for me it's not a challenge. It's more like sharing with the world what inspires me. I'm inspired in life to be of sound mind and body. What brings me happiness, fulfillment, peace, love, and serenity? It's different for everyone, but it's pretty darn simple for me.

Happiness for me is movement. When I say movement, I mean moving and grooving at a pace that stimulates all areas of my being. It's never the same. One day it might be dancing with my school children, and on other days it might be hiking a beautiful mountain, running down the sidewalks of busy streets being thankful that I'm not in the hustle and bustle of traffic at that moment. It might be walking along a beach or biking through the beautiful paths alongside the creeks in Woodstock, Georgia, where I live.

I discovered the luxury of exercise when I was a young girl. At the time, when my parents said, "Get out of bed. We're going on a family walk over at Kennesaw Mountain," I would be furious! I wanted to sleep all day just like many middle school children. Little did I know that these family outings would instill a love of exercise which now has become a necessity in my life. Later, in my high school years, I bonded with my dad while we ran together. My favorite adventure was running the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta with him.

When the sweat starts to pour down my face, I know that I'm in it to win it. It's a race against myself. I do it for me. The thrill I get of reaching a finish line is amazing. I even enjoy the crackling of my bottled water as I squeeze it. This sound reminds me that I'm not just hydrating my body but my mind as well. The aches I feel the next morning when waking up are reminders to me that I accomplished something.

Running opens up my mind and heart to endless possibilities. It relaxes me in such a way that I know I'm able to triumph one day and look forward to the next day. Days that I take a break from exercise to let my muscles rejuvenate are never my happiest days. I break because it's necessary. I have to conform to the rules of exercise just like others who conform to rules for things they do. If I don't, then it will be impossible for me to continue this luxury, this love of exercise, for the rest of my life.

I don't usually share that I often live in fear.

The thought of running in circles with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide brings me to a dark space. No windows, no doors, no real ground to step on. I want out. I want always to be free TO BE ME!

Don't lock me up. Don't restrict me. Let me be free to feel the outdoor elements. Let my soul breathe everything in the world that is fresh and pure, not manmade.

I have places to go when I run. The streets are called serenity, peace of mind, determination, dedication and more. I have not reached my destination. Please, let me soar.

Now I will share some reveries of running that are memorable moments to me, starting with the most recent.

Mister and Me

I run for my life. I run always waiting to feel what we runners know as the runner's high. This is a feeling of euphoria and freedom. I run to escape the day-to-day struggles.

I needed an out. I took a quick trip to my condo in Carrabelle, Florida, and immediately couldn't wait to rise early the next morning and run. By the end of that run on Main Street, I had a secret and a high like no other.

As I anticipated the sunrise, I continued to trudge on, around the narrow streets along the Carrabelle River, past unopened stores and cars left behind, outside of the infamous Harry's bar from the night before. Wow! Finally, there it was! The beautiful sunrise over the still water where fishermen were starting to hustle and bustle around their boats. The early bird gets the worm, I suppose.

Then, it happened. I met a guy that I named Mister. He stared at me from across the dock. Boy, I fell hard, and I fell fast. I was in love. Instead of a one-night stand, I had a one morning stand. An affair with a stork.

He was everything I wanted and needed. Mister was still. He listened to me without chiming in. That's every woman's dream, isn't it? Mister had all eyes on me. I was his one and only. He was grey with a long stiff beak, and I could sense his maturity and wisdom. Mister intrigued me like no other.

I stopped and we talked for what seemed like hours but wasn't. Well, I talked. He, in my mind nodded his head with interest in me. I could tell he wanted me to stroke him, but I decided this would be an emotional versus physical affair.

The sweat just poured out of me. I felt empowered with a sense of control. What a morning. So, my secret is out.

Most affairs don't last. Chances of me "running" into Mister again the next time I'm in Carrabelle are unlikely, but it's a memory that I'll cherish.

When I said goodbye to Mister that morning, I left feeling revived and inspired to continue running daily as long as my body will allow. You just never know who you will meet, what you will find, and how you might change your thinking by the end of the run. I was fulfilled. I run for my life.

Running in Woodstock

I love to go to work. I love to teach. I love seeing faces. I love talking to my assistant and friend. I love to travel. I love to exercise and move about. I love to eat. I love to drink but can't drink certain beverages. I love to smile. I love to joke. I love family. I love shoes. I love perfume. What I love the most is the capability to start FRESH each and every day. I LOVE THE WORD FRESH. I love my days. I love to wake in my bed with FRESH sheets and a FRESH attitude in my mind about the day ahead. I get up and brush my not so FRESH breath and pull out the FRESH loaf of bread for my sandwich that fuels my day. I love seeing a FRESH smile every day from 18 little boys and girls. I love their FRESH ideas and their tender hearts. I love their FRESH words that are sometimes kind but not always. I'm exhausted at the end of the afternoon but eager to hit the FRESH pavement running. I have found downtown Woodstock to be a breath of FRESH air for me. I pull out my FRESH newly purchased running shoes and begin my adventure. The FRESH air is blowing in my face and my ponytail begins to swing as I run past the boutiques up and down Main Street. Each day there are new and old unique looking clothes from the consignment shop. A lady stopped me and said, "Why do you keep running up and down this sidewalk?" I thought, "Why do you care?" I think that's called being FRESH up north. Anyway, I take a hard left and head down the FRESH paved road past the FRESH dog poop which doesn't bother me. When you gotta go, you gotta go. As I'm running, I look to the left where the Reformation Brewery is, and I watch people enjoying a FRESH beverage called beer. My mouth begins to water while I anticipate my FRESH beverage waiting for me at the end of my route. My beverage comes from the Allimo coffee truck located down the hill from the Brewery. There's my car which looks like it needs a FRESH coat of paint. Over the weekends, I'm not able to park there. The Farmer's Market is set up every Saturday and Sunday in September with FRESH fruits and vegetables for sale. The stage is on the left where local bands play in downtown Woodstock on the weekends. The stage is a reminder of my ballet days when I was younger. I always loved putting on a show. I still do. I have been doing it for 30 years for my sweet school kiddos. I'm about there. My beverage is now in hand and I'm headed home to take a FRESH shower and smell FRESH and clean for the next day. Keep moving and think about what FRESH means to you.

Flower and Tree: Metaphors that Speak to Me

Is a struggle from within a weakness? Is loss of control a weakness? Is the need to manipulate a weakness? Is letting go a weakness? Is lying a weakness? All of these felt like weaknesses for me, because they ultimately led to my downfall of a never-ending discontentment that was just eating me alive.

The realization now is quite spectacular. My strengths outweigh my weaknesses. The strength to be honest and change behaviors that were hurting me. Through my own personal faith, I discovered that I had to let go and be vulnerable and real. Not to let go meant to hurt others in my life and not just me. What a concept.

It took one heartbreak 17 years ago to change my path forever. Since then, I have been hell bent on controlling my life so as to never feel that pain again. Looking back now, the determination to control has led me to many years of hurting in a more complicated way inside as well as hurting those around me. Forgiving and letting go is a freedom and peace that I now have.

I wanted to punish because I felt punished for nothing. Although the simplicity of two wrongs don't make a right was always in my mind, I was determined to create a saying: IF YOU HURT ME, YOU DESERVE TO BE HURT BACK. Well, that just didn't work, even after years of practice. It literally took an act of God to make me think about what was already taught to me. Live and let go. Don't keep doing things over and over again and expect different results. Thank you, Dr. Phil.

But most of all, what really worked was instilled in me by my parents. They said, You are smart, worthy and most of all loved. More importantly, my parents continued to remind me that every action has a consequence. I'm known for complicating things when the simpler way is staring me down the whole time. With some of us, our sob stories take longer to point us in the right direction.

I think of my experience now as the birth of a flower going through the stages of growth. When hurt, I felt like a seed that was never watered. I was so thirsty for help but couldn't swallow. I was like a bare tree in the winter, stripped down, with nothing to give. When I became a little stronger, I was the seed that took in the water but still wasn't quite ready to let go of the control. So I didn't let the sunlight in just yet. When I realized that I could be okay standing alone with my thoughts, I let the sun shine in on me, and I nourished my body with reality and honesty from the inside out. The bare stripped down tree is no longer useless in my eyes. It awaits the buds and fruit to be picked to nourish all. I knew that stripped-down tree had lots to give. It was a tree that didn't have to be overtaken with fake stuff. It was beautiful just like it was. Simple and clean to the core. I was alive. I grew and blossomed. I have even been picked at times, just like a flower, and used to brighten up others, especially children. I have my days where I feel wilted, but who doesn't? I nourish myself with others who are a source of positivity for me and whom I trust. Each day I wake up, suit up and show up.

I exercise daily. Exercise relieves anxiety for me. I welcome whatever the day brings, and I deal with the struggles one day at a time. Like a flower that dies off and comes back, I too am a work in progress through the four seasons. We are not weak. We are human. My favorite season has become summer because I need that challenge to sweat out the good, the bad, and the ugly, and to reflect. The world is an amazing place. People are amazing. It takes all of us to make the world go around.

Off the Beaten Path

Driving home from work one day, I noticed a dog park in Roswell that seemed like it was more spacious than most. I pulled into the park to check it out in case this was a new spot to bring my lovely lady dog Shay. Much to my excitement, I discovered trails surrounding the dog park. After quickly changing into my workout clothes in my car, I set out for my walk.

As I started on my adventure, I found myself talking out loud about just how beautiful the canopy of trees stood. I wondered what the trees would say if they could talk? Would they be telling me that they were happy to be a canopy in order to keep me cool in the Georgia sun? I also said to myself, do other people have crazy thoughts like I do? Sometimes it's fun to wonder with nothing talking back.

What began as a walk turned into a run as my adrenaline kicked in. Being the risk taker that I am, I decided to detour off the paths onto the trails with signs that read "for maintenance workers only." I wanted to see what was there. I began to pass by old, empty houses with broken windows. I felt a sense of loneliness and abandonment. Then I found myself running because of fear and the unknown. I had a fear of being taken. By who or what, I don't know. I wondered if those houses could talk, would they be telling me not to be scared because, although abandoned, they were happy still to be standing for people like me to run by and notice their unique beauty. The broken glass in the windows took on a new meaning for me, like an opening for a breath of fresh air.

Deep breaths of that fresh air led me back to the main trail and back to my car. I felt a sense of relief but also an eagerness to continue discovering life and what makes me smile.

My Bike Ride and Remembering St. Maarten

Ready, set, go! Time for my bicycle ride to Woodstock. It was such a beautiful summer morning, so I put on my helmet and rode on out of the neighborhood.

Within just a few minutes of riding, I noticed a taxicab driving by. I was surprised to see one, since Woodstock mainly uses Uber. The sight of the taxi caused my brain to start spinning just like the wheels on my bike, with thoughts of my day in St. Maarten.

I reflected on what a pleasure it was to meet John, the one who drove me on the island tour. He was knowledgeable and so funny. The first thing I noticed while looking out the window of his modest car was the hurricane damage. He said, "It's just what nature does," and that he had chosen to take it like a champ. I looked again and noticed cows walking through a beautiful cemetery. I blurted out, "John! How did the cows get in there?" He said, "Well, they just walked in." We laughed a lot as we continued our tour.

The day got better. We came to a nudist beach, and Dr. Seuss came to my mind: Could I? Should I? Would I? Well, I did! John ate his lunch in his hot car and waited for me while I spent an hour without my clothes on, soaking up the beautiful rays and taking in the gorgeous color and view of the water and people.

I felt a sense of serenity and total freedom. Not a care in the world. I had no stress and no worries. It was the same feeling I get every time when I complete my exercise for the day. My only disappointment was not being able to bring back one of those amazing conch shells with red dots of algae throughout.

By this time I had built up an appetite, so John dropped me off at a small place where locals go to eat. That's when I met a beautiful brown-skinned woman everyone called Mamma sitting on the curb. She stood and walked up to me as soon as she saw me. She said all that she had was chicken and rice. Oh, my goodness! The smell, and the yellow color, so inviting! Mamma had created the tastiest curry chicken and rice that I've ever had. I couldn't wait to dig in. All I could say was yummy for my tummy. We hugged, and she wrote down what I owed her on a small piece of cardboard. Tipping her well, with gratitude, I looked then at my fitbit and realized it was time to hurry back to the cruise ship.

By the end of the tour, I had forgotten about the $150 spent for the tour and felt like it was the best entertainment ever, no matter the cost. John and I parted ways, but I have St. Maarten and the day in my memory forever. Thinking back on this trip made finishing my bike ride to Woodstock feel effortless!

I RUN FOR MY LIFE!

I look for the signs that say KEEP GOING. Why settle? Why stop? Instead of going nowhere fast, I'm going EVERYWHERE at my pace.

Free from darkness, free from fear, free from not so good thoughts in my ear. Free is where I want to be.

Movement equals happiness for this girl named Laurie Ann. I've realized that it helps me whether any emotional storm comes along or not. Even when days are consistently drama-free, I still do it with the passion of worship.

May everyone in life have something that makes them as happy as moving and grooving makes me. And to the special person in my life who asked me to tell about my passion, well, I thank you.